Will Lam Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 I love people like that in the office, makes the day fly pass!! My mate brought a 318ci and told everyone it was a 6 cylinder and was addamant it was a 6! Till someone ask him to pop the bonnet and count for himself! But now hes debadge the bmw and still saying to others its a 6 cylinder.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bizzyfingers Posted March 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 The beauty about Paul is once he has said something he will say absolutely anything to make it seem like he is correct. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
das_flo Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 We need a picture of Paul - he sounds like an absolute legend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bizzyfingers Posted March 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 My partner is in childcare at the moment and is currently doing a degree level 5-6. After telling Paul she is at university (open uni) he said... (PAUL) my mate (funny how he never gives names) was doing a university course in child phycology, I had a look at some of her work and you would not believe some of the stuff she had to do (ME) (this is going to be so good) (PAUL) paper mashé models (ME) ahaa.... Here is one of the questions my lass had to do the other day How has the use of new research methods contributed to a greater understanding of the development of infants' perceptual abilities during the first 18 months of life? Yeah Paul she had to answer that with 6 crayons of her choice but only by using two hands and sticking her Tongue out while doing so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bizzyfingers Posted March 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 We need a picture of Paul - he sounds like an absolute legend! I was thinking of doing that today. He is off (long story hahaha) but I'm on the case!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zimzimmer46 Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 lmfao....this is a good thread. When i get home im gonna post up a 150mph KA........lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simonlpearce Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 Some of these are class, loving the spanners in the boot and especially loving the cow thread. With regards to the piccy though, im not so sure its a great idea sticking his mug up without his prior conscent...It could get you/the forum into a little trouble... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bizzyfingers Posted March 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 Some of these are class, loving the spanners in the boot and especially loving the cow thread. With regards to the piccy though, im not so sure its a great idea sticking his mug up without his prior conscent...It could get you/the forum into a little trouble... fair do's mate. I can't exactly explain what it's for though :0) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMA 330 Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 This not quite on topic but was so funny i thought i would share. (i work at a cinema) walked into work other day and noticed that the cupboards + signs and even ceiling were coated in a greasy substance, i asked a colleague wot had happened, he replied one of the other guys had a accident last night. "we work with compressed gas in a squirty cream dispenser" anyway apparently it was to full and still pressurised so he needed to de-pressurise it and empty. he started to un-screw the head, despite several people telling him to unscrew it slower and hold it properly, he ignored them........ ..... the top blew off hitting him in the face. and covering him + the wall + the floor + the ceiling and several customers and collogues that were close by in cream..... i nearly fell over with laughter hearing this... and all day it just kept making me laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momo Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 this thread is awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manlord Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 Ken again!!!! giving a Eulogy at his Uncle's funeral. Myself and my boss were obliged to attend this funeral and were glad we did looking back........................(words are not perfect leading up to his comment but very close) Ken: Life is so precious and we should not take it for granted. Congregation: Ooh, Ahh, True, agree and so on............... Ken: Things can change in an instant Congregation: Ooh, Ahh, True, agree and so on............... Ken:Its never to late to make peace with family & friends Congregation: Ooh, Ahh, True, agree and so on............... Ken: To think, Willy went into hospital for a simple Hemorrhoid opperation and never came out Congregation: Ohh, Ahh, its terrible Me & Boss: I couldnt believe it...............It was said in a dead pan type of way and me and my boss must have missed something because we had never heard anything that funny before. Everyone was looking at us but we couldnt stop laughing I swear i wanted to be swallowed by a black hole but loved every minute of it he annoys me so much but can be soooooo funny at times. he doesnt even realise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mit Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 This thread is great! Some of this stuff reminds me of a friend from school. I remember I once asked him if his Dad's new car had a Flux Capacitor and Warp Drive and he said yeah! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 Best thread in a long time!!! Some of these are classic. Don't tell my girlfriend I posted this! The other day we were driving back from Sainsbury's and I said to her that it was a shame that they didn't have the lamb shoulder joints (which I love). A few seconds of silence and then she says: "they must be seasonal"... (Spring, lambs without shoulders, winter, lambs with... :D ) G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nathanwest Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 we have a guy called brad at our football club... everyone calls him Bullsh*T brad.... here are some of the reasons why. His uncle Owns BMW... yet they all choose not to own any bmw's He has met Elvis (yet he wasnt born when he was alive) His uncle owns a Suite over in Vegas He tells us he has his own business... turns out its his uncle's... (but wait, he owns bmw i hear you say) well clearly he owns BMW and then owns a building firm for fun. Hes had a meal with Ricky Hatton (in his uncles vegas suite) He lived in Australia for a year... said theres no work over there... but said he made loads of money doing loads of work.... go figure... hes a belter.. but so funny listening to him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam_Burns Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 IF were getting on to the subject of girlfriends, my girl friend bless her is lovely, just a bit ditzy at times... She works in a soft play area and has to help with the cooking in the kitchen now and then, her bro is the chef so he told me this when he saw me... They were baking something and he asked her to measure up some milk. She goes to the cuboard and gets the jug. Comes over to him and says, "how many flonces do you want...." "er....flonces....what the f*** are they when they are at home". "flonces" she says.... he looks at the jug.....its reads "FL Ounces" "FLUID OUNCES"....he says to her..... she replys...."whats a fluid ounce?".... Another..... We were watching a program on the TV, about dentists and treatments etc.... The Dentist is treating the patient with route canal treatment to solve his problem.... Afterwards he gets interviewed saying that it really hurts still and his jaw is aching... a few days later, she rushes into the bedroom after brushing her spuds and says..."my tooth is killing me..im going the dentist....I think Ive got root canal"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daz 330 Cs Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 ^ ^ ^ ^ " I think ive got Root Canal" ... Properly Funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danw8986 Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 lol at this thread. if were getting on to women and cars, my female friend brought her car to me and said her left bulb had gone and could i change it for her i said sure looked at it ummed and arrred a bit and after a minuet told her its not her bulb its her headlight fluid that needs topping up, go to halfords and ask for gully headlight fluid oh and make sure you get the BL type after 5 minuets i got a call saying so i want Gully BL headlight fluid ? Fu*k you lol. she didnt quite get to ask someone at hallfords but i would have loved it even more if she did oh and i did help her with her bulb afterwards Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bizzyfingers Posted March 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 Seeing as it's getting away from bull shizniters i have a corker about our my girlfriend. My 2 year old daughter was watching animals of the arctic. (DAUGHTER) mam what's that on the tele (GIRLFRIEND) it's a baby polar bear (ME IN FITS OF LAUGHTER) no it's not (GIRLFRIEND) oh no man it's a baby penguin (ME CRYING) it's a f'ing seal you silly git!!! (DAUGHTER) looking very confused. Hahahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrimja Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 Seeing as it's getting away from bull shizniters i have a corker about our my girlfriend. My 2 year old daughter was watching animals of the arctic. (DAUGHTER) mam what's that on the tele (GIRLFRIEND) it's a baby polar bear (ME IN FITS OF LAUGHTER) no it's not (GIRLFRIEND) oh no man it's a baby penguin (ME CRYING) it's a f'ing seal you silly git!!! (DAUGHTER) looking very confused. Hahahahaha Nearly spat my drink out a that! Really got to love women and their interesting minds. I don't understand how their brains work SOOO differently to ours at times!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich325(k22rsl) Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 Oh man im loving this thread, its brightened up what has been a crap day...I want to meet paul ha ha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bizzyfingers Posted March 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 My brothers lass could not understand why on an on board camera view of a rally car why the people in the car dont go upside down when the car flips.... It's because it's mounted to the dash... Eh but the camera stays still DUH!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bizzyfingers Posted March 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 (PAUL) my mate had a mint escort, it was a special edition called an rs200. (ME) the rs200 was a short wheel base 4wd special rally car made in a batch of 200 to adhier to regulations on production vehicles in rallying. (PAUL) no my mates was an rs200 it was a special one (ME) (your the special one my friend) after some debate a kid who's dad rallys and repairs at stages and who is the worlds biggest ford fan and personally has a mk3 rs turbo went on the net and printed a list of all models from start to finish of all escorts... No mention of the rs200i escort (PAUL) that's probably just got it wrong or missed some out (ME AND THE LAD) just tutted and shook our heads Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aidan316i Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 PMSL Brilliant thread! If we're going to mention girlfriends my own once asked me "What day is pancake tuesday this year? aswell as admitting things like "I've put my watch on upside down" "You're having a real idiot day arent you?" is usually my response! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aly Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 Paul sounds like a laugh though... Albeit at his expence!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMA 330 Posted March 4, 2010 Report Share Posted March 4, 2010 was driving along other day with mrs in car and evanescence bring me to life was playing the mrs Blurts out..... I love this song i think this band vanilla essence is great. i nearly crashed cus i was laughing so hard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
